The power of compassionate dementia care

Sherri Thomas on the power of compassionate dementia care

Dementia care is about more than managing symptoms. It’s about preserving dignity, nurturing connection, and finding moments of meaning in every stage of the journey.

Sherri Thomas has spent her career championing a compassionate approach to dementia care. A trained nurse with years of dementia care experience, she recently joined BlueCare as a Dementia Care Consultant.

In this role, she supports families and trains other dementia care specialists, offering hands-on guidance that goes beyond textbooks and into the thick of what truly matters.

The complexity of dementia

There are many misconceptions about dementia. The truth is, dementia is complex and involves much more than memory loss.

Dementia affects every aspect of a person’s life, from their ability to recognise loved ones to their emotional responses and vision. And everyone’s experience is unique.

“Dementia doesn’t strip someone of their identity,” Sherri says. “It challenges us to find new ways to connect and communicate.”

“What we often forget is, a person living with dementia can still feel deeply, even if they have difficulty expressing it.”

Sherri’s approach to dementia care is centred on helping families continue to see the person they love for who they are, beyond their diagnosis, even when words fail and recognition wavers.

The art of communication

One of Sherri’s core beliefs is that communication doesn’t always have to be verbal. “When words are hard to find, it’s about connecting through other means,” she explains. “It might be through music, familiar smells, or simple touch.”

Music has been instrumental in helping Kathy Cornes give her mum, Judith, the kind of care that brings her comfort and joy. “We have music on for her pretty much all day,” Kathy says. “On a dreary day, she'll sit in her chair for hours with her headphones on, jiggling away.” Jazz, in particular, holds a special place in Judith’s heart. “Jazz was her and dad's thing,” Kathy explains. “She'll sit and boogie in her chair, or get up and dance [with her walker].”

By recognising there’s more than one way to communicate, Sherri helps keep those crucial lines of communication open, allowing people with dementia to express themselves. “Even when a patient can’t speak, they can still smile, laugh, or show you they’re enjoying a moment,” Sherri says.

These moments, where connection transcends verbal communication, remind Sherri why she’s dedicated her life to the dementia field.

Finding the ‘glimmers’

Sherri acknowledges the challenges of dementia, but at the same time she encourages families to focus on the ‘glimmers’. Those fleeting moments of connection, joy, or recognition that can illuminate even the darkest days.

“Some days are really tough, but there’s usually a glimmer somewhere,” Sherri says. “If we can bring them joy, laughter, and fun, the journey can feel a little lighter.”

In many ways, this is Sherri’s goal as a dementia care specialist. To make the overall experience that little bit easier. A sentiment that’s at the heart of her person-centred care philosophy, whether for the person with dementia or their caregivers.

Supporting families along the way

Dementia doesn’t just affect those who are diagnosed. “Families can be overwhelmed, and don’t always know where to turn,” Sherri says. They want to do the right thing, but that can be difficult when someone they love is changing before their eyes.

Many carers go years without formal support, leaving them isolated and overwhelmed.

“There’s this expectation that if you’re married to someone, you signed up for it forever,” Sherri says. “People feel like they shouldn’t complain, but it can be incredibly hard.”

She meets caregivers who have been struggling alone for years, often reaching out for help only when their loved one is in the advanced stages of dementia. “It’s heartbreaking,” she says. “They’ve been doing their best, but they really had no idea how to navigate it.”

Rather than just providing generic advice, Sherri zeroes in on the specific needs of each individual, providing caregivers with tailored solutions to improve the quality of life and independence of those living with dementia.

“I spend a lot of time talking to families about what to expect and how to navigate the difficult moments,” she explains. Even the small, often overlooked details, like how dementia can affect vision, can make a world of difference.

This was certainly the case for Kathy, who says when Sherri explained how vision changes, everything clicked. “We kept taking Mum to optometrists and eye specialists, thinking something was wrong with her eyesight. But Sherri explained that it's actually part of the dementia, that her vision is getting narrower. Understanding that made such a difference.”

The progression of visual changes in dementia is dramatic, impacting mobility, balance, and daily functioning, explains Sherri. These changes contribute to slower movement, changes in posture, and an increased risk of falls. “It’s probably the biggest thing I work with families on, and it can be a real ‘aha’ moment.”

To help families and other carers truly grasp these changes, Sherri uses a hands-on approach. “I get them to put toilet rolls up to their eyes so they can experience what it’s like,” she says, explaining how shifting from binocular to monocular vision alters perception. “Once they see it for themselves, everything clicks.”

Detective work in dementia care

“There’s always a reason for a behaviour—always,” says Sherri. “As carers, it’s our job to uncover it.” Sherri trains her teams to approach dementia care like detectives, carefully observing and identifying the root causes of distress, confusion, or agitation.

And it helps ease frustration and uncertainty for carers too. “Mum’s got very repetitive behaviour where she'll sit and fold tissues and napkins for hours,” Kathy explains. “We thought she was just bored, but Sherri helped us understand it's actually soothing for her. She feels like she’s doing something.”

This mindset shift also changed how Kathy and her family approached Judith’s tendency to layer her clothes. “She’ll suddenly put on three T-shirts and two skirts, and we used to try and stop her. But now we realise, that’s what she wants to do.”

By fostering a mindset of curiosity and compassion, she ensures that every person receives personalised care tailored to their unique needs, helping them live as well and as comfortably as possible.

“At the end of the day, it’s about making a difference,” she says.